Urology Joke:
The doctor is doing a prostrate exam.
The guy yells, "That hurts!"
The doctor says, "I am using two fingers. "
"I want a second opinion."

Ophthamology Joke:
An eighth grade teacher at a very exclusive private girls school, asks the class, "What organ of the body, when stimulated, expands to six times its normal size? Miss Smith?"
"Mr. Johnson, I do not think that is a proper question to ask a girl of my age and social standing."
He calls upon another student, "Miss Jones?"
"The pupil of the eye."
"That is correct. Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you. One: you did not do your homework. Two: you have a dirty mind. Three: someday you are going to be very disappointed."

Cardiac Joke:
What do you get when you spill a urinal?
A pee wave.

Immunology Joke:
"I'm allergic to lasix. It makes me pee."

Hematology Joke:
A vampire goes into a blood bank and asks for one unit of packed re cells and one unit of fresh frozen plasma. The phlebotomist yells back to the tech, "Gimme a Blud and a Blud Lite."

Otolaryngology Joke:
For otitis media the doctor ordered "cortisporin drops in the R ear QID." The pharmacist called back to say cortisporin doesn't come in suppository form.

Orthopedic Joke (told by an infectious disease doctor):
What do you need to do to pass the orthopedic boards? Be able to bench press 200 pounds and spell Ancef.

Infectious Disease Joke:
How do you get a kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

CV Joke:
Did you hear about the two red cells who loved in vein?

Heard any good ones lately? Send us your attempts at medical humor.

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